Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
