yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
