please come you make the beer taste better
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We need to get me chipped asap
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
