I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
