so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
