so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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