She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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