I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
