You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
