Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
