It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
