I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize