Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize