This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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