Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize