the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
