i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
