I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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