chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
