My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
