i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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