these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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