Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And my parents said I crawled through the house
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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