I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
