is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize