I got chris browned last night
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
