like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
