Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
