thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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