Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
