the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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