I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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