gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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