Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
