This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
