Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
