the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
