so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
