i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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