The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
