so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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