either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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