i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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