i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
