No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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