I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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