Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize