the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
In America we eat man semen.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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