Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
