Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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