last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
