I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
