he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just pee around me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
