Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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