White coat. Heels.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
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