I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
